Star Trekish

Although I don't quite no what that small thing is, I know that there is always some small thing wrong within Star Trek. Recurring small things, issues (if you will) in the script and in the characters. I can only watch it for so long and then I start to squirm, as if wearing itchy underwear as each awkward slip or unscientific conundrum unravels. Even the passage of time cannot change this, I am not able to see beyond the plot holes and threadbare nature of each story and the flaws in that supposed world of the future. I am doomed never to get it.

“You're a sore loser Captain!” Kirk hadn't enjoyed last evening's card game particularly, he liked to win at Poker and today he was still smarting, down on the season's tally. He was telling himself to let it go but he wasn't listening to himself either. At least there was something distracting happening on the bridge. So Captain James Kirk sat back and into the bridge control seat. His stance aggressively deliberate as if caught up in an elaborate strategy to defend his position. His hands clasped the chair arms, his knuckles white with the tension of the moment and the increasing grip, all signs of insecurity. He was mumbling, still talking back to himself. Spock arched an eyebrow and looked away into an engineering scope display, distracted by an amber band running across a scanner warning screen. Kirk was staring at the main observation view. The image was slowly moving in on an unidentified craft, caught in the Enterprise's tractor beam. Kirk squinted, looking for some recognisable feature or piece of detail.

“Sensors are still negative.” Spock repeated his previous comment. “I'm guessing that there is a certain degree of resistance here, a type of cloaking system that I don't believe I've encountered before. Not one of our regular visitors I suspect.” Kirk was dissatisfied, “they are deliberately antagonising us by hiding their intentions, I'm hailing them again.” He thumbed the speech detector's trigger. “Unidentified craft, you are under Federation surveillance from Starship Enterprise. We request that you cooperate fully with this repeated request that you identify yourself and make clear to us your origins, flight plan and mission.” The auto-trans system immediately churned out a broadcast in 15 million galactic languages, a communication safety net set up for clarity and understanding, as was standard practice. Every life form known should be able to get some part of it. There was no response.

The screen image was now clear and the craft had been wrestled out of a back lit camouflage system. It was a smooth, silver cigar shaped vessel. Unmarked and anonymous. It's course coordinates had been hidden by the back lit system and now it was drifting, offering neither resistance or communication. “Get a party ready for boarding” barked Kirk, “this beast is irritating me and I want answers, what in the name of Great Galileo are they doing out here?”

The silver ship intrigued all on the bridge, the design was unfamiliar, old, slender and smooth, almost featureless. It didn't quite belong in this space, in this part of space, set under the thundering bulk of the on coming might of the Enterprise. “Still no sign of life forms on board.” Spock spoke almost automatically whilst running a number of specialised checks across the management system. “There is data here, it's emerging but it's not...logical.” Kirk bit back. “Damn it, I need something substantial, I've a report to file!”

Spock buried his head again in the read out, numbers and calculations flashed across, the figures were duly crunched. The scanners couldn't tell a lie. “I have a read out now.” Said Spock. “She's only 1000 yards away so this had better be good, that damned report...you know.” Spock looked up and walked across the bridge. There was the faintest trace of a smile, maybe even a smirk passing across his face. It had been strange day. “Captain.” Spock was leaning into Kirk's side and speaking in a very low voice. “Captain, the cigar shaped object, the unidentified vessel. We've run it through all the sensors and data banks and rechecked our findings, it turns out that it is...a cigar, in fact it's a Cuban cigar.”