Tuesday, 23 July 2013
"One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole barrel" a wise apple and barrel owning man once said around about the end of the season for fresh and wholesome apples. It was a time before transport, food hygiene, sanitation and whispering campaigns sponsored by the twisted media circus. Some other century or so it seemed because it was. Anyway times changed as the clocks stepped forward never backwards but still that clutch of soft fruit stubbornly refused to stay fresh and ripe. Each year they slowly rotted in their barrels and pretty soon despair set in along with seasonal apple famines. It was the worst of times and never the best of times. Then some thunderclouds passed over, lightening struck and evolutionary gearing kicked in, rain splashed into muddy puddles. We invented steam ships and aeroplanes, hot chemicals and market gardens and plastic tunnels and import duties based upon post-colonial economic models in order to service mass markets via supermarkets and then hypermarkets and we irradiated foods with a vengeance. Then we shrink wrapped them in trays shaped like multiple bosoms so as to encourage the sex trade but only discretely. It was the beginning of a long running and spiteful end and still the apples turned out to be bad inside under the healthy looking skin. When I did finally complain I received a nicely worded letter from the customer services department and a discount coupon to use on future purchases.